Behind the Boot

I have always been a little squeamish about feet.  They just aren't that cute.  My opinion. My ordeal has taken my distaste for tootsies to a new level thanks to swelling that has made my toes resemble little cocktail wienies.  I didn't realize my toes came with such a massive expansion option! The good news is the swelling has started to noticeably go down.  My foot no longer resembles the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, but she still isn't gonna win a beauty pageant any time soon!  Maybe I should call her Honey Boo Boo for now...

Did I mention that I don't do well with sitting still?  I have been lectured, warned and sternly directed to stay off my broken metatarsal and sprained foot.  I listened.  For a couple of days. Y'all... I CAN'T sit still.  My body does not know how.  After researching the best options for some exercise and consulting friends who have also experienced boot life, I decided I would tackle some swimming.  I am a HORRIBLE swimmer, but, current circumstances breed necessity.  I hopped off to my local YMCA, excited to sweat a bit, burn some calories and feel normal.  I got to the locker room, got my boot off, and crutched my way toward the pool.  Yippee!!! Word to the wise....  Rubber bottoms on crutches don't care for wet tile.  While making my way to the magic swimming pool, my crutches splayed out from under me, much like the Disney scene where Bambi is learning to walk on ice, and, well, BOOM.  Of course I landed on the ...

It is only day three with my big, bad, boot, but my armpits are already screaming from the crutches and everyday tasks seem mildly daunting. I found myself facing my youngest child's 8th birthday party today and given the obvious circumstances, I had very little prepared.  Enter the need for a necessary Walmart run. On the way to Walmart, boot on the gas, my daughter joked that I could get one of the electric scooters with the baskets.  I told her I would be fine with crutches and she could push the cart. By the time we got inside of Walmart, having had to park in a land far, far away, I was dead.  I sucked up what little remaining pride I had and hopped on a scooter, complete with the beeping back up feature.  One wouldn't want to accidentally hit anyone while reversing at 1 mph... #bootlife #runnercantrun

Y'all... I have determined in very short order that prioritizing is becoming a critical exercise.  Answering door?  Not worth it.  Laundry in the basement?  Do I still have clean undies?  Indulging late night snack cravings?  Nope.  Going pee in the middle of the night?  Only. if. I. can't. hold. it. ANYlonger.... The vet.  UGGGG.......... While I wanted to use my better judgement and postpone this visit, I decided I needed to put on my big girl panties and get moving around a bit.  I got the cat in the cage, hobbled out to the car with the cat and crutches in hand and managed to get us to the neighborhood vet. Mission accomplished. Note: I did promptly order a knee scooter from Amazon as soon as I got back home. #bootlife #runnercantrun

Lesson learned.  Pajama pants go on BEFORE the boot.  UGGGG!

Hi all! I am a runner.  A hiker.  A single mom of three.  An avid mushroom hunter.  And many, many other things that generally involve the use of two feet for most people. Three days ago I managed to trip over a threshold on a boat at a closing reception in Los Angeles for a work conference I was at.  It was a glorious fall in a short, white dress providing quite the show for many other attendees.  The result was few tears, a one-footed hopping exit from the party, wheelchairs, airport escorts, Uber transfers and lots of ice on the way to back to Wisconsin. Yesterday, having finally made it back home, I managed to hobble in to my local Urgent Care facility with the assistance of our office pooled crutches only to find out that I have a fracture in my 5th metatarsal and a second degree sprain.  Yay!  I left with my right foot encased in a big, black boot with instructions to not bear any weight. As a person who is admittedly horrific at sit...